themadhatter86 (themadhatter86) wrote,

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I am of the belief that i haven't used this application for long enough for all my LJ friends to ditch me again... It's okay I'm used to that I am very erm sporadic with lj use so I guess I am not the best mate for ljers out there. And I don't particularly like real friends being on my lj as things can get nasty when your open about whats going on around you and your feelings.

So.. whats new? I bought a house and I am so fucking scared about it its not funny. I have a job where I don't really earn enough to pay off a house on my own so thats really scary too... And I can't even contribute the same amount as my boyfriend so I feel like a failure. I still don't have a licence which sucks because I know work at a tv station that doesn't get great busses after 6.30 and I usually do overtime to get all my work done. I am just on computers doing nothing terribly fun so don't get too excited for me.

My job is actually really bad I am slow at it and I feel pressure to learn really fast or else I would be behind 2 hrs a night instead of 1 which would probably be better for buses though. I am always tired too... Thats probably the worst thing and all i feel at the moment is pressure. Pressure with this house pressure with this job just pressure. I just want to be in the house and be paying it off as fast as possible and get into my job as fast as possible and get my licence as fast as possible but I am the worst driver in the world so I don't see that happening any time soon :( my boyfriend keeps reassuring me but I do 1-2 lessons a week and it all just seeps out by the time i get back in. Also i am fucking terrified of cars i am unsure why :S maybe because I have been in a few accidents.

I bought a few normal magazines with ideas for exercise in them like cosmopolitan and chleo because i don't have time to put normal exercises you can try to fit in the cracks of my busy life atm. Because i don't want to turn into a fat lump :(. I have had to make my own lunches so its mainly salad mm yum ^_^ haha.

thats by boring update oh well sorry about that

the mad hatter

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