The Mad Hatter

I have to make sure I eat fuck it. Thursday i barely ate a thing I had a mandarine and probably 1/4 of a noodle box from one of those chinese noodle houses and what was my reason! I was depressed and felt like punishing myself by starving. I shouldn't be doing that i don't want to fall back into how I was and my boyfriend definately would not stand for it if I did. Mind you he doesn't even really notice when i go down a dress size! but he would notice if I passed down food I can eat!!!

I'm cleaning the house today so hopefully that racks me up enough points! gotta exit mould the shower and clean the bathroom/toilet do 3 loads of washing and sweep... and maybe wash the 3 dishes i made. then i'll do a general tidy up of the house and if toby still isn't home then i will do a 30 minute jog + 10 mins of hulla hoop on the wii. I can't wait in 1 more week i will be back at dance again 4 hrs of dance a week should definately help haha

Work

Is poop too many girls in the office its like an episode of days of our lives everytime i walk into that building so I have learnt to drink most nights to drive myself to go back haha yep that crap.

House

Is going good and hopefully i can use some of my overtime to put a bit more money on it so it will be paid off sooneryayyay we bout a rug/runner for it today so funky i love it

Life

life is going okay i guess well okay enough for someone who doesn't have a career just a job but its going good and i've been losing weight?(fat) down from size 10 aus to size 8 (6-4 us) which is awesome and I did it the healthy way which makes me feel really good about it. I never thought i would be able to be a size 8 in pants because my hips seemed to never let me but yay i have successfully succeeded!!! next step size 6! haha just joking I don't think that could ever happen. Now i just want to tone up and look good before I go on my cruise to venuatu where i will not catch swine flu haha. And I promise i will do some form of exercise a day and wont be one of those people who get fat after being over seas for 2 weeks. I think one of the other girls going on the cruise with me has that plan too so hopefully we can keep eachother to it!! I would say i want a 4 pack again before i go on but quite frankly ... too much effort i would just rather keep jogging/walking my weight off then start crunching and pushups etc i hate pushups especially!!!!

I want zefferellis i really feel like italian food i can actually eat being wheat intolerant! GOSH HOW I WANT TO EAT CALABRISE RIGHT NOW!!!

okay i have finished talking to myself for the moment

seeyas

Whats news?

Well I hate my job and usually i come home pissed off as all fuck but I have sort of found a way to prevent that. It's called write down what pisses you off as it happens. Makes you look like you are taking notes of things you have to do while instead you are venting. Here are some of the notes:

Already Hating today and wanting to stab someone in the eye

I hate my work so many people talk to me like I'm a stupid 4 year old

Girls are fucked

And that seems to be the only worth sharing haha how sad is that.

In other news I bought my second text book today and received the first one in the mail. They are so expensive it scares me like $140 just for something I need for 1 semester how freaky is that!!! What i don't understand is why i needed the 2nd edition and 3rd edition of the same book for the one subject and yes they specifically said I needed both not to buy 1 or the other. Thank god the 2nd edition came out long enough ago to be on ebay or i would have paid $300 for 2 of pretty much the same book!

Another thing thats happened my mum has been a lot more umm connected over facebook since I finally got the internet after me and my partner bought our house. She comments on everything I do LIKE EVERYTHING and tries to chat to me over the internet. Chatting to a family member over the internet is just weird you can't do it like you can with friends. In fact i can't chat to a lot of friends over the net it's just different to how it is face to face and some people are just a lot more annoying. Not saying I'm an exception i'm sure I annoy these people just as much as they annoy me!!

Oh well thats all for now

bye

oh hai there.

I forgot all about this place to be honest until i was talking about how my mum estalks me and a friend says she is glad her mum doesn't know about her livejournal.. So so sorry for hanging you guys on for so long!!

So whats new in the life of me not much.. still have my terrible fulltime job though they are moving me into a new position soon with same pay less work which will be great because I just can't do all the overtime it makes me do. I have time for nothing it sucks :(. We bought our house and its lovely maybe 1 day i will take pictures and put them up but not just yet. We have paid off an amount that makes me feel a bit more comfy now because we are paying double what they want us to so our interest is going down nicely. yay yay.

Start school soon too by correspondence so I am buying myself a mini notebook so i can study in my lunch break at work and on the bus or whatever but so i don't have to be stuck in the study all the time all alone haha. Unfortunately one of my text books I can't find for sale anywhere the only place i can find it is at the national library and you aren't even allowed to borrow books there so that wont help very much :(.

I am trying to get back into exercising atleast half an hr a day which is really hard because I finish when its dark and i am already getting up at 6.30 in the morning to get to work in time so I will just have to somehow sort something out i guess not sure what yet!

Oh well again i don't think anyone will reply to this i must find more e friends haha

It hurts your teeth when it is too cold and when its warm everything gets gross and runny!

HAHA nah. So hmmm I was working out my money flow situation not so long ago and I should be okay for studying. I figure by the time we get to june/july when i will have to pay fees we will have the rudd payment come through (thanks rudd) and I will have hopefully saved up atleast another grand bringing me to the grand total of 20k. I got paid twice this week. Termination pay from my last job and money from this job I currently posses and the upcoming public holiday means more overtime. So I should have an okay sum of money next pay though i don't know I think i would have to do 5 hrs overtime to actually make an extra hungy after tax. FUCKING TAX... ooo i can't wait to do my tax *sigh* its like a wet dream i have every night where I think about how much i will get back. Last year i got 2k haha! it was awesome but I was one of those poor working students so they only took like $400 off me. This year I will be a defacto couple so who knows toby will probably cripple my means for tax back!

Hopefully i will just get a career in what I am studying in a years time so I can get all my monies back on tax oh isn't it grand when you are not paying hecs. Plus i can say my computer and internets is a part of it then because i need it to study and the study goes with my work. *faints* I'm thinking too much.

I miss my boyfriend I want snuggles and someone to pat my food baby when i get one! I bet after we live together for a while we will hate eachother. We really need a tv unit ... and an ironing board... and I need a hair removing impliment because at the moment i use my mums though I could use one of our old ones for the time being. hmm yeh good idea.

Okay this is just babble i hope you actually didn't read it because that would just be bad news for you wouldn't it. I guess it would prove just how much you need to get off the net wouldn't it... GET OFF MY INTERNETS BITCHES

yours dearly

the mad hatter

Sooo its kind of weird knowing how to start a public journal i didn't really think about it until now but you can't exactly say "dear diary" and is it seen weird to just go into the story or point of your journal? I would assume it cocky to go "Hi to all the people reading this" as I assume that it wont be. Because well gosh not that active on any LJ communities anymore so why would anyone know i still existed? So Ummm

Good evening ladies and gents,

I am here to ask a question. What is it with smokers that think that even though most public places have them banned from smoking in them or from within a 10 meter radius from them that they still think they can walk up to you while you are not smoking and just stand there next to you... for no apparent reason at all. And when you bother to walk away because well if you are anything like me you can't breathe properly around anyone smoking they glare at you like you are the biggest asshole in the world. Well you walked up to me polluted my air and for no real reason you just started looking at me funny so fuck you buddy.

Well i guess thats enough of my rant on smokers so its time for the bus drivers to cop it. Don't get me wrong I love catching buses because I hate driving myself so I do not think they have the best job and I do think they get some crappy customers in their runs so I am not having a big go but I just wonder how some of them manage to land the job. I have seen bus drivers worse than me at driving and I don't even have a license so thats really saying something and some of them I think seem like really nice people just need a career change. I just don't get how you can put a bad driver into a bigger vehicle with much more passengers and think of it as a good idea. I have no idea what the canberra government is thinking!!!

Money is well its money. I had over a third of my uni saved for and now with school fees going up i can't afford to study uni for yet another semester so it looks like I will have to save for a bit longer and its going to get harder. Just waiting for rudd to give me my bonus for being a tax paying citizen I hope seeing as I don't get paid as much I get close to the $900 because I could really use it with uni jumping from 28k to an outrageous 38.5k and me not going to be attending on campus don't really have a range of scholarships to try to get into as I am considered an international student in some terms :S.

Oh well that is all that is new for me

It would be nice if some of the people that are still watching me that I watch would write some more journals. its nice reading whats going on in other peoples life and maybe a bit interesting. Or maybe I'm just weird.

<3

The mad hatter

Well I went to work today doing okay with pace well pretty darn good considering I've only been there for a short while when I get an email about a meeting at 10.30am that will be going for an hr. I was like drats this is going to make me slow down a lot and get a lot less done how terrible. Then we go to the meeting and its the guy in charge of my area going on about how much money where I work is losing and how they are making ways of cutting revenue (fuck fuck fuck is all i can think). So he offers everyone in a room the chance to change their fortnights into 9 day fortnights instead of 10. I just bought a house like I can afford that I only earn $600 a week. Apparently the offer is not compulsary and they see that it is hard for us to cut down staff in my departments area because without us our tv station wont run to air. Well thats not very reassuring when i'm the one of probation. So that was my day at work. Still thankgod I finished on time.

Then I got home and went on career sites and there is a bank/insurance company offering an entry level position at 45k a year + super it sounds so good but I can't take up the offer because i have only been at my job for a month and I would prefer to fight through the monotony of it all for at least until we have gone on our 11 day vacation to Vanuatu because i don't have time to make up the holiday pay anywhere else yet.

Then I went on to look in areas I could study to find out the fees have gone up at the uni by correspondence place i was looking at and it will now cost me near 40k to get a degree. $6440 a year for 6 years and thats just the fees for this year. So now I am scared as all fuck of studying and I have no real skills to pay the bills. I was thinking of studying a bachelor in business finance. Which could have gotten me a pretty good job in the long run but I can't afford those fees I've so far only saved up $1800. Thats not even 3 years *sigh*.

Long story short i've had a very blah day.

So how was yours?

I am of the belief that i haven't used this application for long enough for all my LJ friends to ditch me again... It's okay I'm used to that I am very erm sporadic with lj use so I guess I am not the best mate for ljers out there. And I don't particularly like real friends being on my lj as things can get nasty when your open about whats going on around you and your feelings.

So.. whats new? I bought a house and I am so fucking scared about it its not funny. I have a job where I don't really earn enough to pay off a house on my own so thats really scary too... And I can't even contribute the same amount as my boyfriend so I feel like a failure. I still don't have a licence which sucks because I know work at a tv station that doesn't get great busses after 6.30 and I usually do overtime to get all my work done. I am just on computers doing nothing terribly fun so don't get too excited for me.

My job is actually really bad I am slow at it and I feel pressure to learn really fast or else I would be behind 2 hrs a night instead of 1 which would probably be better for buses though. I am always tired too... Thats probably the worst thing and all i feel at the moment is pressure. Pressure with this house pressure with this job just pressure. I just want to be in the house and be paying it off as fast as possible and get into my job as fast as possible and get my licence as fast as possible but I am the worst driver in the world so I don't see that happening any time soon :( my boyfriend keeps reassuring me but I do 1-2 lessons a week and it all just seeps out by the time i get back in. Also i am fucking terrified of cars i am unsure why :S maybe because I have been in a few accidents.

I bought a few normal magazines with ideas for exercise in them like cosmopolitan and chleo because i don't have time to put normal exercises you can try to fit in the cracks of my busy life atm. Because i don't want to turn into a fat lump :(. I have had to make my own lunches so its mainly salad mm yum ^_^ haha.

thats by boring update oh well sorry about that

the mad hatter

So i just realised i wasted two years of my life. At first I was pretty sad about it. And then i thought hang on a minute I can sit down and have a cry and get all depressed about this or I can be happy that I achieved a diploma in something and can use it for a hobby further on in life. Be happy i followed what i thought i wanted at the time because now I wont be forever questioning what I could have been. Thinking oh wow I could have been in an industry where I could have made heaps more.

So commercialism art is not for me graphic design sort of ticks me off. But if someone really liked what I could do and i was mates with them and wanted a website or something I would help out. I wouldn't go FUCK YOU. I mean I do like the elements of graphic design i just don't want it as a career. So i guess I just wasted 2 years on nothing or used 2 years of my life to prove to myself I really didn't like something :P either way haha.

So now i have to cough up 28000 to go to uni. So far i have saved 10k. Hmmm i gotta start saving $200 a week instead of $150 D: I am going into the welfare sector which is something i didn't ever want to do growing up. Well i did want to do it but i didn't because my mum did it and it was really hard growing up. Well I didn't have the worst situation growing up but xmas is not fun when you associate it with no food on the table for a fortnight after.

Hopefully it wont be that way for me though I mean i have my boy to depend on aswell its not a sole income. But that doesn't mean I want to be dependant on him it just means we can hopefully share and balance out. We are buying a house together still hopefully beginning of next year. And i am looking for a better job so I can save up more sooner. I would really love to be saving $300 a week that would be like $1800 a month which a units cost. At the moment I'm only saving up $300 a fortnight which is $900 a month 1 unit costs $1200 and i have to complete 24. I have nearly 15k saved and I need to have 28800 oh god *faints*

so tonight is the night. My graduating exhibition night. The biggest night of this year and I am shaking. I have put together some showbags of my design stuff to give to the industry people who seem interested in my work and of course to give to a few of my friends. I want to take Charlie Floyd Humpleburg my cute 6cm long teddy but I have no idea where I would put him if I was to.

I gotta shower and go back to the mall to buy more magnets to print on and i still have to wash my hair etc for my hairdressing appointment. My bed is completely covered in these incomplete showbags because I am yet leave for more magnets dammit D:. i am thinking of going into a toystore to see if they have any fun sticker paper aswell i forgot they sometimes have cool stuff to print on that other places don't.

I stopped keeping track on what i was eating i was just too stressed and busy to care for a while but I have started eating half the amount of usual on most days sometimes i just have 2 apples I know thats not good but its not even deliberate.

I found a job in the newspaper in other news for a job i only hold half the knowledge to but i am applying and hopefully they will accept me in its a 2 year contract which would be good at this time to get into incase jobs drop down in australia. Mind you the financial crisis is really in america and for some reason our $$ dropped below theirs thats bullshit! Anyways its for 60k+ a year so i am really freaking out about trying to make a good impression D:

I hope everyone else is fine and going well. Be ambitious girl. Thats what one hot jap freak once said in a pop song and I'm sticking to it :P

Things to do today

cd for brett

finish karens assignment

finish back of business card

fix postcards for print x 25 prints each

work

do crunches and other exercises (done some already this morning)

work on portfolio

it's been so stressful this semester at school I have neglected to come on here at all I know I'm a terrible person and i suspect i have no watchers anymore due to it.

Well I need to lose weight I feel like a poomba i always need to lose weight though so whats new? Yeh I know I also need to save money because me and toby are saving a house I already have money for a deposit but I am saving money for furniture and appliances and to be able to finish studying by correspondence. It's great because a uni who is offering correspondence is also one of the ones that are in agreement to cut 2 years off their course for those who complete the course I am finishing.

I am starting to do 120 situps (different varieties) 60 push ups (on knees coz I'm weak) 30 lunges (apparently i have lack of leg muscles ha) and 30 squats every morning and afternoon. But i don't really have time to go jogging at night or in morning why? Well on monday and tuesday i stay back at school for nearly 12 hrs that day that includes after class to get shite done. Then wednesday thursday friday i work all day then saturday and sunday i have to walk to the interchange and I can't really jog there without making my work clothes sweatie to be able to catch a bus to get to work on time. and I get 1 weekend off a month. Hectic no? I don't finish school until the 2nd of december and by then its xmas roster at work. I'm trying to work out a way to still get my once a month weekend off during it or else I will die D:

Oh god I really have to work out some money saving tips. Me and my boyfriend are moving out of home and buying a place next year so I want to learn to cut down on everything from house cleaning products, washing machine detergents and stain removers to food and beauty products. So far this is what I have but its all to do with what I can do now which is quite amazing

Hair now costs around $360 PA give or take but now I have started doing my colour at home (I blonde with tipping cap so i gotta use the right stuff) which I guess will cost $30 - $60 PA for the colour and now $180 a haircut though I will now go to my b/fs friend for it so it might be cheaper than $30 a cut saving a total of  $240

For soap me and my b/f use lynx hangover which costs $5 - 7 at stores costing us about $84 a year if we change to the lynx they sell at the cheap store (its called the reject shop that will now cost us $36 a year saving $48

again I'm prissy with my hair if you didn't tell from before so I use salon blonde shampoo which costs approx $240 (40 every 2 months in shampoo conditioner) if I switch to avons colour technique shampoo/conditioner I also get 25% off from my order making that $90 a year and saving $150 a year

I go to a beauticians every 5 weeks for a brazillian thats $49 a visit $510 a year. I shave my calves every week once or twice that ends up costing $90 or more PA in new razor ends if I switch to cold wax which I assume will last atleast 14 months (for a 350 tub) that will cost $42 a year and I will save $558 a year

So all in all from beauty products alone I end up saving $996 per year

Not taking any yet thought into deoderant and other products such as cleaners and moisturisers which I will be changing also :P

Now I'm asking for help from you guys. I want to know what you do to help with your budget if your living out of home do you make your own stain removers and cleaning agents if so how. I have looked up on the net for recipes etc and all I have found is well crap its not very good at describing and very bulk and I don't know I just really want help. I have heard of clothes stain removers made of bicarb and people using vinegar as all purpose cleaners but I would really like ingredients to crunch down on expenses when we move out.

Jap fashion, DVD box sets, One of a king clothing and bulk jewelery all  under cut

I feel fucking grand bloody fantastic. Finished reading new moon by stephanie meyer and now am onto eclipse the third fourth book doesn't come out til june :( and they left a teaser at the back of this book its going to be so hard not to read it I don't want to read it until its out argh >.< damn you bloody teasers.

I've already done all my exercise for the day and its only 12.50 because I have a driving lesson soon. I'm trying so hard to eat at least 1000 calories a day it gets really hard because the exercise and 2 ltrs a day water consumption seems to supress my appetite a lot. So yeh if i don't do over 400 calories a day I'm not doing good and at least 1 hrs workout. I have to stick up the game because I am eating more (or trying to yet not being successful). So today and yesterday together I burned a total of 1000 calories thats pretty good yay haha.

I want to buy books I'm addicted to reading atm and I saw atonement at the second hand book shop 15 minute walk from my place. The movie looks like it would bore the fuck out of me quite frankly but i can read things I wouldn't normally be able to watch (like ghosts and stuff).

Anyways I best be going to eat my toast and have a shower toodles

I feel empty again... numb.. I feel really upset but like I can't cry and there is no need to cry. But I am also extremely nervous but not sure why >.<. I want to go to sleep but I want as much of this homework to be done before I do. So when i go to school tomorrow I can finish everything off. I want AFAG over and jo's class... and karyns class though I want to get all her stuff printed and then work on fixing any problems. I just want everything over Business practice studio 3 video and sound design culture I want the only thing left to be graphic design 2 and I want that over ASAP. I just want to be able to chill and be me without worrying about pointless assignments >.<

I think thats it I think school is just draining me... school and everything else I have to complete. Getting a license school making a nice portfolio... what about just fun stuff hanging with friends reading making something for me I don't know :S

Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone?
Not that I am aware of

When you're walking, do you stop to drink?
ummm no i usually wait til I get to my destination unless its a long trip

Do you believe that if you want something bad enough you'll get it?
wanting something is not enough and some things are just out of reach

Have you ever kissed someone in a vehicle?
haha yeh

Have you ever snuck out of the house?
hmmm my house isn't very easy to sneak out of given its size and openess but yes I have

Kill or Be killed?
kill depending on the circumstances. I'm not going to kill an innocent to save myself

Ever broken someone’s heart or had your heart broken?
I don't think so and it got hurt but is completely mended now

What did you do today?
read harry potter 1 and some of harry potter 2 read some design magazines played with my new drawing tablet and did some sketches. Nothing too exciting. Hermoine has given me the inspiration to do a lot of homework during the holiday and extra studying so I'll get right to that tomorrow.

Do you like someone right this second?
I like that person every second

Would you ever get a tattoo?
I have one I don't plan on getting anymore though. Maybe I will change my mind when I am older more knowlegable and have had kids

What was the last thing you ate?
chicken sausage

Are you a morning person or a night person?
I don't want to choose either I like to sleep at night but I don't like to get up in the morning.

Do you snore?
no sometimes I make weird bunny noises in the back of my throat and I often twitch in my sleep

Do you know anyone who has gotten an abortion?
yes a few of them though I am not connected to them anymore for other reasons

What would you do if you opened up your front door to a dead body?
err scream and call the police wtf would you do?

Do you like to spend time with people?
50/50 I like my time alone but I like my time with people. I just prefer my time with people to be with people I hand pick rather than the people I am made to be in contact with on a daily basis so I come across as a wannabe hermit to some

Are you hungry?
Nope

Are you a forgiving person?
I guess it really depends on the situation I can be a very big grudge holder so don't fuck me over

When was the last time you did the dishes?
erm last week? I haven't eaten dinner for a while actually so not sure I do my own dishes daily though

Are you talking to anyone while doing this?
sometimes 1 person on msn I don't really have a big selection of online friends

What are you about to do?
probably read another chapter of HP 2 then go to bed. I'll finish it tomorrow and start on 3

Have you ever thought someone died, when they really didn't?
No but when my mum told me my dad had died I went into shock months later I still thought I would see him come back into my life (that he was never really in in the first place) saying it was all a big misunderstanding but it never happened and made me have awful dreams

If you could be a superhero what would you want to do?
If you have seen the adventures of Alex Mac... everything she can do

Your name plus "ness"?
Nickoness

Three feelings at the moment?
unaccomplished lethargic lonely

Done anything you regret so far in life?
as frank sinatra says "regrets, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention" and I gotta agree with him there :P

Are you listening to anything?
no trying to be quiet if I'm not heard or seen maybe my family will forget about me

Where are you right now?
bedroom

What are you scared of?
lots of things random creeks old houses make, ghosts, open doors at night time no matter how big or small (like cupboard doors wardrobe doors etc), mirrors in the dark, no mirrors found in my room

Last movie you watched?
hmmmm.... Peter Pan the one with that jeremy dude in it

Last song you sang out loud?
oh man a song from the little mermaid

Are you thinking of someone right now?
the same person I think about constantly

Who is the last person you talked to on the phone?
My mum

Last thing you downloaded on your computer?
i don't download seriously I don't

Have you changed much this year?
Yes and hopefully I keep on changing into a person I don't hate I don't blame myself completely on what I used to be as I was it from day one in the world but I will hopefully grow out of it more and more every day

Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
AHAHA actually this one time I was hanging for a wee so I ran into this pub I had been drinking outside of and this guy at the bar grabbed me and went "are you sky from neighbours (australian soapie) and people say I look like jenai however its spelt too. I just look like any blond haired young girl from neighbours apparently because some people said I looked like sky's lesbian g/f once too.

Oh and my boyfriends sister and his gay uncle think I look like heidi klum

Do you speak any other languages?
I speak fluent jibberish

Do you dress for style or comfort?
depends on my mood

Ever had a drunken night in Mexico?
I wish and one night I will

Favorite colours?
Lime Green

What do you look foward to this summer?
nothing will be stuck working all summer so no beach for me :(

Last time you smiled?
not long ago maybe 15 mins

If you could choose any fate what would you choose?
I don't want to choose a fate it might alter everything

If you could have anything in the world, what would you want?
happiness

since easter sunday I have been vomiting up anything i ate til wednesday morning. I think this was to do with my burst of insomnia and my body being so tired it could not digest food trust me i wasn't throwing up to get thinner and i wasn't doing it on purpose it was just my body telling me to fuck off.

Wednesday body crashed. I slept in on the one morning I shouldn't have I felt so bloody bad I missed the next bus didn't get to the bar I was meant to meet a friend for photoshoot for our assigments til 11am. When I got to class at 1 i realised.  I didn't have my questions with me so I promised the teacher I would email them to her. Well I've searched through my room high and low and can not find them anywhere.

Options find her today talk to her say sorry but I can't hand them in as I can't find them in my unorganised hack of a room. Or continue looking frantically and get more behind on my website assignment which btw looks dreadful haha. Man i hate this. Whenever I get sick for a few  days in a row I always get so far behind its not funny.

It could be just me but even though I am never happy with my body and want to be skinnier (I'm a healthy weight and I wish to continue being so and to lose weight through healthy ways not like before) I find super models rather unattractive. If anything they promote healthy eating to me. It's mainly their arms I really can't stand their arms because they just look like bones to me and I have always been afraid of just looking like skin and bones so have never gone too over the top with any eating disorders I have had.

I guess thats a good thing that I just want to keep in a healthy range and be healthy I don't want my hair to fall out or to not be able to live a normal life style because my body is too weak. I think achieving things in life is much more empowering in life then to look perfect to myself. If I didn't achieve something on a day to day basis I would hate myself (trust me I am my own worst enemy I am constantly battling with myself on the inside). Just doing the exercises I have been doing lately have made me feel healthier and a bit hotter already so I can't wait to see what it makes me feel in a month or 2's time. I feel a bit fatter after easter but thats normal and I'll just have to work that off maybe just do 1 extra day of cardio as well this week.

I'm wagging my first class today in the 7 weeks of school so far I haven't missed 1 lesson and this teacher sucks. I don't give 2 shits what he thinks about me and all his grades are pass and fail (just so everyone knows thats illegal which is why another teacher is taking over for this class next term) but atm all you hear when you are in his class is him talking about himself and how he runs his business. It would all be well and good if it were 40 minutes on how to run a graphic design firm and then 10 minutes of how he puts that into practice but its 3 hrs on how he puts running a design firm into practice and 5 minutes of how you can use his examples. Everyone hates his teaching. This is the problem with tafe they get teachers who have practice in the industry and no teaching degree and some of them just have no idea how to interact with people or teach. I'm not going to stop going to it I can't afford to lose that lesson I already have to make up a lesson and a elective on my last semester. But I am just over tired and getting sick and don't see it as being worth it when he is just going to get the shits with me for doing nothing wrong because I can't learn when he isn't really teaching!

I went on a bit of a shopping spree $100 and thats a lot for me considering i have no income at the moment and am paying for school and dental and any other medical stuff that happens to arise.

Well i went and bought stuff from Victoria secrets because it was on special. I love american sizes I'm a size 6 american haha. Still aiming to be size 8 aus though that would be hot :P. Anyways I bought 2 pairs of jeans and a sexy top booya. The top is already not in the catalogue anymore meaning its completely out of stock so I can't show a picture of it. And no I'm still not happy enough with myself to show a picture of me wearing it when I get it. Maybe when I get it in a months time I will be but we wont know til then.



In other news the thing I have always wished for finally came true. An easter without any chocolate. Instead I get 7 dvds. There was a sale at a video rental we always go to where they were selling dvds for a song. So my mum spent the same amount she would on eggs on dvds. Quit frankly i was suprised at how much she spends on eggs but I guess when the little bags are nearly $4 and the big egg packs like the mars bar ones are over $10 its not so suprising. So I get Just Married, The Butterfly Effect, Dude Where's My Car, Van Wilder, Peter Pan (the gorgeous one with that young hunk of a man which I can now say because its not pedophilic to say anymore good god), Domestic Disturbance and Narnia. Other than that I need to get a part time job close to home until I can get my car and work more often. So I can live because my savings are going fast. I don't want to work majorly on fridays or thursdays though because I really need to get my license. Most the clothes in my wardrobe I have owned for 2+ years a heap of them are hand me downs from an old bestie so no idea how old those are and all my new ones I bought when working for supabarn a grocery store in the perishables section so they have tears and holes in them D: